A great way to make your children hate you

“Dad, is Santa Claus real?,” my 5-year old asked. 

“Oh. Well. I can tell you, but… do you really want to know?” 

“Of course!”

“Really? I’m not sure…”

“I do! Just tell me.”

“Ok, so… no, Santa Claus is not real.”

“But my friend from school travelled to the snow and even went into his house, he’s real!”

“That was just a guy dressed like Santa, baby.”

“So who brings me my presents?”

“Your mom and I buy them. Or your grandmas buy them.”

“And Santa Claus brings them?”

“No, he’s not real. We buy them on the computer and some random person brings them here.”

“How come I never saw that??”

“They come when you’re not at home.”

“So when I write a letter to Santa Claus….”

“Yes, your mom and I read it and see what you want for Christmas.”

“So Santa Claus never sees my letter??”

“HE’S. NOT. REAL.”

“Hm. Ok. If you say so… but you could be wrong, right?”

I was, because ever since that day she expects Christmas presents from us and from Santa Claus 🤦‍♂️

The Santa Claus Paradox 

My kid didn’t really want me to tell her if Santa was real or not: she wanted confirmation he was. That was really the only answer she was willing to accept - even if she convinced herself (and me) that wasn’t the case. Nothing I said would change that. 

But here’s the problem: she’s still asking the question. What was I supposed to do then, lie? I decided early on I wouldn’t do that with my kids. 

(Some other day I’ll tell you of all the awkward conversations that decision has gotten me into 😅)

My mistake, though, was to just tell her something I knew she didn’t want to hear. What I should’ve done instead was to first show her - with a story.

I could’ve told her how I found out Santa wasn’t real, and let her sit with that for a while. I could’ve told her about going out to buy some of her presents, or the conversations her mom and I had about which ones she’d get. Then I could follow that up with more rational explanations or even evidence (like my Amazon order page). 

It happens to grown-ups as well

The same will be true about your audience: they might say they want to know what you have to say, but that doesn't mean they are ready to be told they're wrong, or that they have to do things in a different way.

So when you go against a belief they want to be true, don’t go straight at it: tell a story that shows an alternative, let them come closer and then slowly build your case. 

Or you’ll turn them into stubborn teenagers who still believe in Santa 🤘

-Francisco 

PS. If you want a much more in-depth take on the subject from a speaker's point of view, here's a great article from my partner-in-crime, Brian Miller.

Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Getting clarity through your story to stand out from all the other coaches, speakers and entrepreneurs out there 

2. If you dream of speaking on the Red Dot, take this Scorecard and instantly discover how likely your idea is to be accepted by a TED-style organizing committee

3. If you (or your team) got any storytelling challenges, I’m sure there’s something we can do together ;-)

Thanks for reading! Reply any time.