Hand your audience a backpack full of bricks

The ski lift takes off and my daughter shouts,

“My hands are hurting, they’re hurting a lot!”

“I’m sorry, baby, it looks like you have the same problem I do.”

“Dad, it’s really bad! What’s happening??”

She’s shaking her hands and her eyes are glistening.

“It’s a blood thing that happens to some people in our family. We don’t have great circulation in our hands or feet and it can get painful in the cold… I need you to open and close your hands, ok?”

“Ok…”

“Make a fist, strong, and then open it. Keep doing that.”

She opens and closes her hands a few times and stops. Tears are falling now and her breathing is ragged. 

“It hurts so bad…”

“Baby, crying won’t solve this. I need you to do the hand thing.”

“Can we go back to the car?? I don’t want to be in the cold anymore…”

“We’re still up in the air, Alice. Once we get off, we’ll ski down, then we can go if you want. Open and close your hands, baby.”

She looks completely miserable, but she does it. 

“That’s it. You’re doing great. I’m sorry this is happening to you, honey. It’s awful and it’s not your fault.”

After a while the tears stop. Her breathing slows down. 

“Ok, the lift is about to arrive. Can you get off ok?”

She nods. 

“Alright. Let’s ski down and then we’re done.”

Once we reach the bottom of the run, she looks better. 

“Do you want to leave? Or keep going?”

“My hands don't feel so bad. I think we can keep going.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Let’s ski some more. But dad?”

“Yes?” 

“This blood thing. Does it have a cure?”

“No. Not that I know of… I’m sorry you got the family curse, baby.”

Alice says something back, but I don’t catch it. 

As she gets in position for the next ski lift, I can feel my hands. 

They’re starting to hurt. 

The backpack

This is a difficult story to tell, and it might be difficult to read, because it has no resolution. It has no moral or lesson. It has no closure. 

Matthew Dicks is the best storyteller I know. I learned from him that when a story ends on a negative note, it’s like you’re handing the audience a backpack full of bricks. There’s a temptation to say that things will be fine and help the audience “put the backpack down.”

I almost fell for it here: after the “family curse” line, I had written “It’s ok, dad,” but then I realised Alice never said that. I just wanted it be ok. 

My daughter is 8 years old, I just saw her feel excruciating pain, and I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it. She likes skiing, so she’ll have to go through this over and over again. And it won’t get better (it hasn’t gotten better for me). 

That sucks. There’s nothing really good about that.

And that’s why the story needs to end the way it does–because that’s the only way I can make you feel what I feel. 

I often say that a story is a real-life example that makes a point. That’s the type of story you should be telling most of the time. 

But a story also needs to share truth, and the truth here is that sometimes life sucks.

There’s pain. There's struggle. And we just have to bear it. 

Those stories need to be told too. 

Because sometimes, the only way to carry a heavy load… 

Is to share it 🤘

-Francisco 

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