How to stop arguing with people

“There’s so much we don’t really understand, like how the pyramids were built,” I say. 

I’m at an Irish pub with a friend, and the cover band is just getting started. 

“Oh, I know how the pyramids were built.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. It was an ancient civilisation,” she says. 

“The Egyptians, you mean?”

“Oh no. Much more ancient than them.”

“Was there anyone there before them? I don’t think I’ve heard of that.”

I guess she’s about to say aliens…

“There’s almost no evidence left, because their whole civilisation is buried beneath the sea.”

“Like the myth of Atlantis, you mean.”

“Exactly. But it’s not a myth.”

“And you know that how…?”

“I saw it.”

“Saw it? Where?”

I’m expecting it’s from a YouTube video. Or the Joe Rogan podcast. 

“When I was meditating.”

“You saw the pyramids being built by an ancient civilisation that’s now buried beneath the sea… when you were meditating?”

“Yeah. I’ve learned a lot from going deep inside my past lives when I meditate.”

I wasn’t expecting that. 

“Oh. OK. That… doesn’t sound like the type of meditation I do.”

“You should try it!”

“I… yeah. Maybe. I… I think I need another drink.”

There’s a crowd in front of the bar. 

Many are looking impatient, waving and trying to call the bartender’s attention. 

But I don’t get my hand up. I don’t call out. 

I just stand there, and listen to the music.

I’m in no hurry to get back 😅

That’s my story and I’m sticking with it

You can argue with opinions. You can argue with conclusions. These days, you can also argue about facts (what’s the evidence behind them, how reliable is the source or the research). 

You can’t really argue with a story. 

Because a story is not saying “this is true for everyone,” which is a really big call to make. What a story is doing is saying, “This is true for me. This is something I experienced.”

If I say, for example, “I went to Istambul and it was awful, so many people kept trying to rip me off,” you can’t debate that (unless you think I’m lying to you). All you can really counter with is with something like, “Huh, that’s interesting. I never heard anyone say that before,” or “That wasn’t my experience.”

But if I had said that everyone in Turkey is dishonest, or that it’s a terrible place to visit, it would be pretty easy to find thousands of people to prove me wrong. 

When you want to change anyone’s mind, you can try to argue with them, use reason, data and (what you think of as) facts. That's one option.

Or you can stop trying to push your worldview on them… 

And just tell the story. 

It might not convince them immediately, but they won’t push back, because you can’t argue with someone else’s story–even if it sounds completely insane 😂

I don’t know if anyone can uncover the mysteries of the world by meditating… 

But there’s no doubting the ancient magic of a story 🤘

-Francisco 

Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Getting clarity through your story to stand out from all the other coaches, speakers and entrepreneurs out there 

2. If you dream of speaking on the Red Dot, take this Scorecard and instantly discover how likely your idea is to be accepted by a TED-style organizing committee

3. If you (or your team) got any storytelling challenges, I’m sure there’s something we can do together ;-)

Thanks for reading! Reply any time.