Storytelling is easy as breaking a kid's heart

I’m stepping out of the shower when Olivia, my 5-year old, says, 

“Dad, I don’t like Barcelona.”

This can’t be good.

We’ve just come back from Brazil, where she was surrounded by family. She loves it there. If she asks why she can’t live closer to her grandmas, I’m not sure I’ve got a good enough answer. 

I guess I could tell her about my work being here, but that’s a crap excuse, most of what I do is remote. 

I could say my friends are here, but I have lots of friends back home–and she knows it. 

I could say that her school is great, but there is no shortage of amazing schools there either. 

Maybe I can talk about how dangerous Brazil is, but that makes little sense when we’ve just spent a month there. 

There’s no point talking about a corrupt and incompetent government, because… she’s 5. 

And if she asks why I left in the first place, then I’m definitely screwed, because the answer is “A girl broke my heart, so I ran away… but then she followed me here, and now that girl is your mom.”

All of that flashes through my head while she’s standing there, looking up at me. 

Alright. Might as well bite the bullet. 

“Why not, Olivia?” 

“Because here in Barcelona, time goes by too fast when I’m having fun.”

Oh. 

Ok. I got an answer for this one. 

“Baby, that’s not just a Barcelona thing, that happens everywhere. And it gets worse when you’re older.”

I see the exact moment the light in her eyes dims. Her head slumps down, and she drags herself away from the bathroom. 

I know parents don’t need to have all the answers. 

But sometimes… 

I wouldn’t mind having some of them 🤦‍♂️

Context is boring… 

Starting a story with context is one of the most common mistakes I see from my students. They feel the need to tell me everything (they think) I need to know before getting the story started, and it sucks. It’s very hard to feel engaged by a whole bunch of descriptions about anyone’s life (even when they are interesting). 

It also makes it almost impossible to visualise the story, which is pretty essential if you want to capture anyone’s attention. A story should be filled with dialogue and action; if you can’t turn your story into a movie scene, then that’s because it’s too much “tell” and not enough “show.” 

…Unless you do it right

But, if I’m honest, that advice is only half-true. You can give plenty of context, and tell me things that would be much harder to “film”, like the thoughts I shared in the story above–as long as you put it in the right place. 

This is how you do it: 

• Start with time, place and/or action (two of those are usually enough) 

• Once the audience can picture what’s happening, you can “step out” of the moment and give me context, share thoughts or memories

• If you have a lot of “tell”, then step back into the moment, give us a line of dialogue (if possible) or update what is happening in the scene 

(I didn’t feel that was needed here, but it would’ve been something like “Olivia is waiting for an answer, and I’m making a show of drying myself while I figure out what to say.”) 

Create a movie scene, tell us what you need to tell us, keep the scene going and then wrap up your story. 

It takes some getting used to, but it’s easy enough to do. 

Well, maybe not easy… 

But easier than talking to a 5-year old 🤘

-Francisco 

Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Getting clarity through your story to stand out from all the other coaches, speakers and entrepreneurs out there 

2. If you dream of speaking on the Red Dot, take this Scorecard and instantly discover how likely your idea is to be accepted by a TED-style organizing committee

3. If you (or your team) got any storytelling challenges, I’m sure there’s something we can do together ;-)

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