A storytelling lesson… in the sauna

“I booked us a family spa day,” my wife Patrícia says. 

“Ahm… ok. I guess. What exactly does that mean?” 

“No idea! The hotel says it was included in our package anyway, so why not?” 

And that’s how I find myself with my wife and two small kids in a spa.

We walk on some stones (“foot massage”). 

We get blasted by freezing cold water (“temperature contrast”). 

We try the wet sauna, can barely breathe in there and run away - screaming, in the case of my girls. 

“Can we go to the pool, dad?”, my 7-year old, Alice, asks. 

“Sure, let’s just try the dry sauna first.”

“Are you sure? They won’t like it,” Patrícia says.

“We’re here, we might as well.” 

We go in, sit down. But Alice is not looking convinced, so I tell her, 

“Baby, lie down right here.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, you’ll like it, trust me.” 

She hesitates. Then she lies down. 

As soon as her back touches the warm wood, her whole face lights up, she closes her eyes and says,  

“This is the life.” 

I laugh out loud and Olivia, taking a cue from her big sister, lies down too. 

Then we all stay there, for a quiet minute, smiling.

I am going to read your mind now

This is what you’re probably thinking: 

• “That was cute”

• “I could visualise the whole story” 

• “It brought back some happy memories”

• “Maybe that needed a little bit more conflict”

• “But… I have no idea what the point of that was!” 

How did I do? ;-)

There are a lot of things that are good in that story (although I’d say that, wouldn’t I??): 

• It is mostly told through dialogue. 

• It revolves around a small and specific moment in time. 

• Parts of it are very relatable (often the case when you talk about family stuff). 

But what I didn’t do (on purpose!) was to figure out what the point was. 

It could be, for example, about making assumptions (which my wife does, a little). 

It could be about not wanting to try new things (which Alice does, a little). 

It could be about how kids can say grown up and surprising things (Alice again).

Or maybe about how incredible memories can come out of unexpected moments (for me). 

If none of those feel like a great match to the story, that’s because… they’re not. 

Figure out your point first  

You need to know your point before, because then you know what needs to stay in the story and what doesn’t. 

Then you need to ask yourself: are the characters at the end of the story (or what they know, feel or think) far enough away from who they were at the beginning? Is the change clear enough? 

For example, if my wife has learned not to make assumptions, was she clearly someone who did that? 

If Alice is someone who knows the value of trying new things now, was she clearly someone who didn’t?

To make either point, I need to emphasise the opposite of it early on. I’m not telling you to make stuff up but, if it’s true, you actually have to put it in the story. Sometimes one line will be enough: 

“Patrícia, we talked about this… maybe let them try it first?” or 

“Daddy, I don’t want to… what if I don’t like it??” 

Because if that change isn’t clear, your audience might not get your point. They might feel like it came out of nowhere - or worse, that you shoehorned that in. 

The point of a good story should never be a complete surprise. You want the audience to have an idea of what’s coming so that, when it arrives, it closes the loop for them and brings the whole thing full circle. 

And that’s when their faces will light up, just like a 7-year old in the sauna 🤘

-Francisco 

Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Getting clarity through your story to stand out from all the other coaches, speakers and entrepreneurs out there 

2. If you dream of speaking at a TED-style conference, we can find your idea, book the talk of your dreams and deliver it with impact

3. If you (or your team) got any storytelling challenges, I’m sure there’s something we can do together ;-)

Thanks for reading! Reply any time.