“Dad, are we going home first?”
“What do you mean, monster?”
“Before taking Alice to the circus,” Olivia says.
I’ve just picked up my girls from the school bus and soon Alice needs to be in her circus class.
“Well,” I say, “we’re going to pop by the supermarket to grab a few things, then we’ll go home, and stay there for a bit.”
I’m not even finished speaking when I realise Olivia is looking a little frustrated. It’s a bit of a walk to the circus class and she prefers to stay at home, but today her mom is working late, so I add,
“You have time to play for a little while, maybe swing in the hammock for a few minute—“
Now her face is all scrunched up and her fists are closed, she’s on the verge of a tantrum, so I change tack:
“Baby, I know you don’t love taking Alice to circus, but on the way back we can stop by that big church you like and you can race in the courtyard.”
It doesn’t work. She stops in the middle of the street and looks madder than ever. Then she shouts,
“I just wanted a ‘yes’! Why couldn’t you just tell me ‘yes’ or ‘no’?!?”
It only gets worse from there. It takes me all the time we have at home to calm her down.
Through all of it, I’m kicking myself, because I really should’ve learned this by now:
Sometimes, the more I speak the less I say 😅
The “new shoe” approach
The hardest part of telling stories is not the telling itself, it’s having the stories to tell.
I’ve often talked about collecting moments everyday, which is how I get most of my story ideas these days. You can also look for specific stories by using something like First, Last, Worst, Best (“When was the first time you noticed that? Or the last?”)
The trouble is that collecting moments gives you a ton of material to work with, but doesn’t always help when you need a specific story to tell. Looking for specific stories doesn’t always work either, because many people struggle to remember something relevant. But there’s a middle ground:
You can look for the right story before it actually happens.
A lot of my work is on messaging: how to communicate better, more clearly, in a more engaging way. So I try to keep my eyes (and ears) open to any moments when good – or bad – communication happens:
When I say the right thing to my kids (or completely the wrong one)
When they say something in a funny or surprising way
When we struggle to communicate
When my wife and I get into an argument because of a misunderstanding
How often we fix it by simply being clear about what we meant
When someone tries to sell me something by being too direct or manipulative
When an ad or piece of content speaks to me effectively
The examples are endless.
All I’m really doing is being a little more aware of all the different ways I could talk about my subject. Before I know it, I’m seeing it everywhere. It’s just like that phenomenon of when you buy new shoes, and then you start paying more attention to everyone’s shoes for a few days.
So your job is simple: think about what you usually talk about, then make a list of all the good and bad examples you can think of, and that’s it. You’ll start noticing them around you – and, when you do, write them down.
I’ll stop now; I have a feeling I’ve already said more than I needed.
See? I can actually learn!
And if I can…
So can you 🤘
-Francisco
Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:
Getting clarity through your story to stand out from all the other coaches, speakers and entrepreneurs out there
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If you (or your team) got any storytelling challenges, I’m sure there’s something we can do together ;-)
Thanks for reading! Reply any time.
